Sunday is the Lord's day and I kept it holy by having a hippie suck me off (thanks for the tip, Park Ave), drinking beer, and staying away from the devil that is Craigslist. Amen.
But now it is Monday morning, and today's rave is gonna have to be quick, because someone else is waiting for my stall, and the guy two crappers over must have eaten at Don Pablo's last night.
My topic is movie reviews. I love the movies, and I love reading about movies, thinking about movies, and talking about movies.
That's why I'm no fan of Jack Garner. His reviews are soothing and bland. Now there's nothing wrong with bland reviews, if that's your thing. Like bland food, which is good for folks with geriatric colons (for example, my friend a couple of stalls over), bland reviews are good for folks who want to go to a movie to enjoy the popcorn. If you have a geriatric mind, Jack's your man, but if you love movies, he's a buzz-kill.
The dirty hippies over at City are no better. Some of their reviews are longer than the scripts of the "films" (not movies, "films") themselves. And all of their reviews smack of self-importance and navel-gazing. A word to George Grella: if you were really as smart and literate as you think you are, perhaps you'd be writing the movie rather than writing about it.
The good news is that there's an alternative, and it is Rochester-based. Planet Sick-Boy is a site run by a local guy, Jon Popick, who writes great reviews. If you don't like to read, you can listen to him on WBER Friday mornings at 8:15.
Popick used to write for City, but apparently he was too good for them and his reviews aren't published there anymore. My guess is that Grella was intimidated and got Popick fired.
Unlike the pablum published under the Jack Garner™ brand, Popick's reviews are willing to call crap by its real name.
Lest this sound like a plug from a shill, I've got nothing to do with Popick. For all I know, he's a stinky hippie. I just wanted to send out a rave to a Rochester original who does it out of love.
