I'm all for any institution that will result in more pictures of girls kissing, so of course I put my full support behind homos getting hitched. Plus, the religious conservatives get pissed off when girls kiss, so whenever two lesbians get married, its double-fresh, double-good fun: I get to see pictures of both kissing women and red-in-the-face Jesus Freaks.
But, aside from the big dose of self-gratification that Gay Marriage brings to your pal Rottenchester, I'm afraid that, once I calm down, I have to admit that my homosexual friends are fighting the wrong fight. They should forget about "marriage" and concentrate on civil unions and spousal rights.
The problem with "marriage" is that it is such a loaded term. Every discussion of gay marriage conflates two different notions of marriage: the religious and the secular.
Every religion has their own definition of marriage. Catholics, for example, think that marriage is forever (unless you're rich and/or a Kennedy) and don't even recognize the validity of divorce. Protestants are more middle-of-the road. Some Mormon sects will still let you marry multiple wives, as if one weren't an immediate surplus.
From a secular point of view, marriage is simply the recognition of a special obligation between two people. The happy couple are telling the state, and their friends and neighbors, that their lives are intertwined, and that they have assumed certain special obligations for each other.
This bare-minimum, secular commitment is far less than what most religions expect from marriage, so calling it that just confuses the issue. "Civil Union" or "Pledge of Spousal Rights and Responsibilities" are better descriptions, even if they don't roll of the tongue or conjure up a vision of a teeny-tiny bride and groom (or bride and bride, or groom and groom) on a white cake.
Why does this difference matter? Well, in the past few months, I've been surprised by the number of otherwise tolerant people who get bent out of shape when they hear about gay marriage. I think this is because they think about marriage as something sanctioned by their church, and they have a visceral, irrational reaction to the state legislating what their church can do. Even if they are generally tolerant of homosexuals, "marriage" conjures up pictures of two guys kissing at the altar of the neighborhood church, and that just puts
them over the edge.
I think a lot of people who freak out over gay marriage are probably OK with some kind of social contract between gay couples that is sanctioned by the state. And what's wrong with that? If it leads to more girls kissing, I'm all for it.
