But hanging inches from my tail in a school zone just isn't going to get you anywhere.
Yes, I did just slow down. In fact, I might slow down again -- your reaction was priceless. I've never seen anyone look so thoroughly frustrated in a long time.
Look, no matter what flavor of stink eye you shoot me, and even if you tailgate me so close that your hood is in my trunk, I'm just not going to speed in a school zone. There are lots of kids around, and running them over is apparently your department, not mine.
If a few seconds of slow driving gets you this bent out of shape, I have a feeling something else is going on. In fact, judging from your pinched up face, I'd guess that its been a long time since you've had a good old-fashioned toe-curling deity-invoking orgasm.
So, when you get home, I suggest that you pour a glass of wine and a hot bath. Relax and let the cares float away. After you towel off, pull out your Magic Wand, economy-size bottle of Liquid K-Y, and John Holmes replica dil. No ordinary set of masturbation tools will suffice for someone as backed up as you. Then, you need to hit it, baby. Rev up that vibe and let the magnificence of the late Mr Holmes carry you away to not one, but multiple petit morts. Repeat as necessary until satisfied.
After you've done all that, perhaps you'll be able to spare a few precious seconds and slow the fuck down in a school zone.
Your orgasm could save a child's life.
