Rottenchester

Never stop to think that the person might have another reason for asking a question, because, as we all know, anything worth knowing has already been written up in Wikipedia and indexed by Google. Bonus points for saying it twice in one posting.

2. Point out how much time the other person is wasting on CL.

The time that you're wasting crafting your lengthy reply is, of course, exempt from this rule. Only the time used by others is counted: your pearls of wisdom are timeless.

3. Adopt a condescending tone when you lecture about the obvious.

You're here to educate and enlighten, after all, so tone is secondary to substance. Don't worry that others may know, for example, that Spam is sent by con-artists. The gold that flows from your keyboard should be received gratefully by your vassals, no matter how it is phrased.

4. Bitch about how CL is organized.

Especially anonymous handles, since nobody ever complains about those. You would have done better, if only you had been consulted, so feel free to complain early and often. Be sure to silently beg the question of why you're posting on such a terrible forum in the first place.

5. Snipe, never originate.

Above all, never start or encourage a conversation, just try to kill it. Recognize that all humor and originality on CL comes from wet blankets like you. Just look at "best-of": it is nothing but complaints about anonymity, discussions of how long it took someone else to write a post, and exhortations to "Google it".

Follow these simple rules, and you'll guarantee a completely dead RNR in no time flat.