It started out great between us. Back then, your fantasies made me hot -- big guy in a red coat, baby in a manger, three guys following a star. And, man, did they pay off. I couldn't keep my hands off the presents under your tree, if you know what I mean. We had a lot of good years when I was young and you were younger. It all made sense back then.
But lately, Chris, things between us haven't been so good. You know, you're quite a materialist. Do we really need to shop for a solid month? And the constant nagging ("buy, buy, buy") is getting really old.
Plus, you're a little bit two-faced. If I'm supposed to feel good about buying all this stuff, why are you always reminding me about your "true spirit" and how I need to "remember your genuine meaning"?
I could have put up with listening to the same music all the time (do you ever buy anything new?), if your new fantasies were any good. But I'm afraid they aren't doing much for me. Screaming "Santa" at the top of my lungs used to be a big turn-on. I only feel silly yelling "Kwanzaa".
So I think it might be over between us. But don't take it personally: it's about me, not about you.
Christmas, I'm just not that into you anymore.
